to that lover that is yet to come...

To that lover that is yet to come, 
I know it's not your fault, nor is it your burden; but my soul is broken, my heart is shattered, my eyes are glass, my smile is sad and the wrinkles in my skin doesn't show much happiness, but it shows my journey, my life and every situation that ever made me that shadow of a person u have fallen in love with.
Dear Lover: I don't trust easily and I never trust fully, I'm drained. I don't have much to offer, I'm needy, lonely and broken so bad I lost sight of what love is, I don't know how it feels, I don't know how it tastes or smells. I'm so lost I wouldn't know what love is even if it stabbed me in every tiny piece of my shattered heart.
Love I have but only one thing to ask of u: show me patience. I might curl up in a wet weeping ball of tears; hold me. I'll doubt every move u make; comfort me. I'll be hard headed so much I'll only see my point of view; talk to me, convince me I'm wrong. I'll scream you never loved me as loud as my throat let me, just hug me; feed me the love your heart beats for mine. I'll deny it but you will see me shine.
Dear lover allow me to weaponize your love so I can fight my wars shielded by your embrace. I may not say it in so many words but take a look at the stitched healing soul, at the reborn brand new beating heart; it beats just for you. Look at the tears of joy gushing out my shattered glass of my free sight. The lines of the smile vanquishing the darkness of painful cringing skin. The genuine happiness shinning from within. But darling my trust is still broken, I still worry, stay up all night wondering if have drawn me back from the edge just to push me off the mountain. Fix me just to hurt me beyond repair, send me in an endless limbo of pain. When I do this, say nothing, just take my hand, hold it to your lips and squeeze it tight. I won't say a thing but I would know. Darling above all have patience with me cause I donno how to say the forbidden words but to me they were never just words so why do u need to hear them so much when I act them with every cell u touch. Hold on to me love for I love you more than I thought love could handle

Dear Me...

Dear me,
I wrote to everyone but you, I neglected the person I should care about the most and for that I apologize. I'm sorry for blaming you for everything that ever goes wrong in life. You are beautiful, you are honest, but mostly you are strong. Today, I would like to tell you that you no longer need to be. You don't have to burry the tears behind your eyes nor the pain behind a smile.
To my eyes,
Let the tears behind your glass run dry, cry all you want for as long as you want; so next time your eyes would sparkle of off joy. Spill the tears in front of the dears, let them know all your fears. Take comfort in a shoulder, a smile or an embrace. Make your world a less lonely place.

To the smile and all it's teeth, you don't always have to show peace. Show a smile of joy only when earned. Show a tight line of disappointment and of pain. Show a growl of rage.

To the scar in my heart healed on its knife, rip it out. Bleed your poison and heal it right. Don't pretend that you are actually alright. Love again; as deep as the first. If possibly deeper and don't regret it.

To the soul that carries all the burdens, I know you are scarred, torn and broken. I know you mourn yourself and people. I know your burden is beyond all other, that it's heavier, deeper and greater. You carry all of me and for that I'm sorry, but I want you to know; you are beautifully strong and adorably weak. You are everything I need to seek. You carry my burdens, my joys and memories. You carry all of me gracefully.

Finally to the brain that can't sleep, I live in the future and that's why you weep. I made you live in a world of what ifs. I'm full of anxiety and that's your curse, but starting now I will think less cause honestly you deserve the rest. I'm sorry for all the time you said "No" and I did it anyway, and I thank you for this: you always held me high, never hung my head low, convinced me I was never broken until it came true. You never said I told you so, you got me out of trouble, you found me other options, you solved my riddles. You believed in my whole. "It's never too late" was your lesson to me "it's never too late to breath" I cherish it and hold it above all for it has gotten me through the hole.

To my whole, thank you for sticking up to me one piece at a time. You are beautiful, brave but mostly, you are free to be bare. I won't hold back nor hide the tears, the joy, the rage and the happiness. But knowing me, I most importantly won't hold back the love or the craziness of falling in it. I will fall again; harder, deeper and crazier than ever and this time I will fall for you 

❤️

Funny

Funny how its all the same

Funny how I can relate

Every story and every book

Its all us from someone’s eyes

What about mine?

How I saw it? How you saw it?

It isn’t as different as you thought it would be

Bleeding eyes and heart

Dying… yet so alive

Rotten inside

Once pure… never again

Once white… forever red

Everyone pays the price they deserve

I’m here to collect

I’m death holding an axe

You are either dead

Or on your knees

But you are paying somehow

You think I’m evil

You think it was an act

Honey this devil is your fetus

Endure all the hate within

It’s all your doing

Never again left without amends

Pay it all

Pay every price

Pay for every broken heart

You think you are an angel

Never mistaken

Never wrong

Ohh… and forever white

Well, so was I

Now I’m a demon

And I’m here until your wings are ripped apart… 

There is no why...

A tear slipped by

And you donno why

The pain in your chest burst

As tears wheel by

But you still donno why

Something is missing

Someone is standing near by

Not to harm you

And not to help you

So tell me why

The pain overwhelms you

You break your hand hitting a wall

But you donno why

You broke your bones

Ripped your muscels 

It hurts so much

You don't wanna know why

You cry and cry

Is it the pain of your heart

Is it the pain in your hand

Or the confusion of your mind

If only you could rip it apart

The pain but not your heart

The tears keep going

You think maybe your eyes would finally dry

But tears are reborn

And they don't stop

The headache is on

Another pain to add on

Show us your smile

Yes force it on

Stop your tears

Or just cry inside and alone

Eyes of glass

Too dark to show what's inside

Your smile is a mask

And it will always be on

And people wonder

They donno why

They see a happy person

With a dark soul

Was it friendship 

Or was it love

What was the failure that made you so dark

What scarrd your soul

What broke your halo

A tear threatens to slip by

But you smile

"It was nothing"

There is no why...

Another story

Another day... Another tear

Another wish seize to bear

Another lie... Another burn

where is it headed

I can't tell

Another stab... Another pain

Eyes fly open

It's here again

Chocked with tears, regret & pain

A smile comes out

A light of hope is out

Love is of forms, shapes & ways

A proud pride

Or a mother who cares

A child's smile

Or a devil's eyes

Softening to see through mine

Love is the loss and gain

Of one's pride

and another's pain

Love is each smile

spread on every face

She loves a daddy

He loves a mommy

And so is the bad guy and angel's game

She loves

He corrupts

Her horns grew out

Her halo is now broken

Then she is the bitch

And his heart is broken

A gun's fired back on it's owner

Then we wonder

Was it the chicken

Or was it the egg

Who came first?

Who broke it?

An endless story

Is indeed provoken...

As Purity was Spilled

Promises weren't kept

As hearts fell down broken

You are so full of regret

But you are not broken

As another tear slips

You put an end to this

A perfect plan is made

A person needs to pay

When you loved for real

It was a big deal

As he lied and you cried

Pain is what you keep

And revenge is what you seek

Weak is what you were

But never again shall you be

He thought she is young

She doesn’t know a thing

Let's play

Let's mess her up

As purity was spilled

And love was wasted

He turned the angel into a demon

And she is determined

To make him feel her pain magnified

To destroy his soul for her heart

To rip off his smile

And wear it as her own

Hopefully that will teach him

To love what he owns

To respect those who love

And never desire those who are pure…

 

The Power Of Love

Life is funny

Yet so strange

You meet someone

You fall in love

But they hurt you

Break you

And enjoy your pain

Yet you forgive

You hold on

But with more pain

The love turns to hate

And the well to forgive

Becomes a well to take revenge

Every beautiful dream you once had

Turns into a nightmare

A nightmare you'll make sure they live

And all the pain you've once endured

Comes out in the form of strength

And you are determent to make them pay

No one can stop you

As the race begins

A race with no end

You run and run

Losing sight of what you are losing

Not caring what it was

Then you get those seconds of doubt

Maybe you should turn back

Just let it go

But no, it's too late now

Everyone is shouting

Screaming all the warnings

Then praying and begging

As you can ignore all you want

But your god won't

But still nothing is strong enough to stop you

Until a new love arise from the darkness of hate

Looking beyond what you've become

And seeing what you once were

A love that won't shout nor scream

It won't pray nor beg

But it will run with you

Grow stronger on the way

Try to draw a finish line for you

It will help you

And you finally win

As only the power of love is strong enough

Only the power of love can take you all the way

And only another to celebrate with

Makes your victory worth celebrating…